Tag Archives: relationships

alcoholism as a trap

Am I An Alcoholic?

How Do You Know The Person is an Alcoholic? What I believe is that if drink is causing a problem for other people then the person has a drink problem. When my husband went into rehab they gave him a questionaire which was supposed to assess if he had a drink problem, but the questions were so riduiculous that anybody who drinks alcohol would have been branded an alcoholic by the end of it. I have in the interm found the following questionaire which I think gives a more realistic assessment:  

If your loved one is admiting to a degree that their drinking is out of control, printing this questionaire and giving it during a time of sobriety (during a remorseful hangover would be good!) might give them the extra push they need to get help.

YES NO
1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?
2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?
4. Is drinking affecting your reputation?
5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?
6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?
7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?
8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family’s welfare?
9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking?
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time of day?
11. Do you want a drink the next morning?
12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?
14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?
15. Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble?
16. Do you drink alone?
17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?
20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking?

If you have answered YES to any one of the questions, there is a definite warning that you may be an alcoholic

.If you have answered YES to any two, the chances are that you are an alcoholic

.If you have answered YES to three or more, you are definitely an alcoholic

(Questionaire by Dr. Robert V. Seliger for use at John Hopkins University Hospital, Baltimore, MD, in deciding whether a patient is alcoholic.)

Living with a Violent Alcoholic

If the alcoholic you are living with is phsyically abusive, get out. Put the kids and your essential belongings in the car, and go. Violence always gets worse and you should not tolerate any adult being violent towards you or your children. Violence never subsides. Once you’re on the roller coaster of physical abuse, it is very tough to get off. Fortunately my husband was never physically violent towards me. My sister was towards me and my mother and that is when I drew the line with her – I would no longer visit her when she was drunk. However deciding not to visit is a lot easier than deciding to leave your home but you must. Saying that you are staying for your children’s sake is a load of rubbish. Watching a parent being beaten or living in fear of being beaten is a lot more damaging to a child than living in temporary accommodation with one loving parent. 

You may have come to believe there is nothing out there for you; that you are undesirable and unworthy, and deserving of the abuse. you may feel to blame for the person’s drinking – you are not. They are the adult and it is them who decides to put the bottle to their lips.

If the alcoholic raises his or her hand to you, they will do it again, and harder the next time. Don’t kid yourself. Forget your pride or forget believing in empty promises made when sober that it won’t happen again. GET OUT NOW. It will be hard at first but better in the long run.