The constant disappointments are hard when living with an alcoholic. You can never make plans because you don’t know if he will decide to drink. Sometimes they invent a row so that they have an excuse to opt out of the plans and drink instead. One thing I did while I was dealing with active addiction was to always have a Plan B, plan C and sometimes even a plan D! That way if his drinking interfered with our plans, I always had a back up plan. His drinking made me very independent as I had my own circle of friends who I went out with. For years I lived with him but very rarely socialised with him. Why did I stay? We had great times together in the past and I knew that under the alcoholic mask lay the beautiful man I fell in love with. I tried to control him and his drinking but it didn’t work, as the saying goes – you can not control other people, places or things, you can only control your own life. I’ve applied this to every situation in life I come up against and it takes alot of burden from your shoulders when you stop trying to control things outside your control!