Tag Archives: al anon

Shoe on Other Foot

Back at the desk after Christmas. It went okay. Hubby (Who was off the drink for 3 and a half years but started to try and drink ‘normally’ again about six months ago) over did it a couple of times which brought all the old memories and feelings flooding back and the barrier went up again – My glass wall that stops it hurting too much. Anyway we’ve talked and talked and now that the ‘season of over indulgence’ has passed there are no more excuses for him to drink to such excess – we’ll see what happens. He seems to constitute a bottle of wine every night as ‘normal drinking’.

The only saving grace over the Christmas was his friend who is a complete alcoholic, went overboard this year and he saw how it is to have to live with it. The friend’s wife  has been attending Al Anon for the past few months and has at last dropped her pride and started to talk about the problem. She now realises that he and his drinking has completely controlled her life and she has become very angry and bitter towards him, she is talking about leaving him. They have no kids so there aren’t the horrible complications of the upset it can cause them.

Hubby spent an hour talking to her last night, the  friend had got to the stage of hallucinating about things that never happened, he’s convinced himself that he once shot someone and that’s why he’s drinking. Last year he convinced himself that he was abused as a child and that’s why he’s drinking – after much therapy he agreed he may have blown things out of proportion.  Hubby agreed to call the friend this morning before he had a chance to drink. He’s using the excuse of not being able to give up drink at the moment because his wife is leaving him and ‘he has a lot on his mind’ – how often have we all heard that one?

So with the shoe being on the other foot ( I think that is the right saying!) Hubby is rethinking his plan of ‘normal’ drinking.

Get Help

One thing that helped me was to get involved with Al-Anon meetings. You get to meet  people who understand what you’re struggling with to call on. They can recommend books to read that can guide you through tough situations and help you grow as a person. You get to  learn to take care of you, and not suffer the results of the alcoholics choices.  To locate a meeting http://www.al-anon-alateen.org  click on “Find a Meeting.”
It will take you to local sites that list meeting schedules.