You love your alcoholic and you want to make your relationship work. You can’t stop him/her drinking, you can’t change them or control them but you can change your behaviour.
Sometimes they do something that triggers us and we completely over react. We know them so well that we know the thing that starts the chain of events that leads them to drinking. It could be a look, a day of the week, a sigh, a movement. And we react. Sometimes they then use this as a reason to drink and you are blamed. We don’t like our reactions, it’s not the type of person we set out to be.
Have a think about your triggers, what does the alcoholic do that makes you fight, blow up, freak out, break down, what triggers you to feel so annoyed or upset that you can’t hide it? Think back and identify the common triggers and your reactions. Write them down. If you don’t know what they, then the next time you have a reaction take notice of what just caused it.
Now think of a different way you could react to this trigger in the future, maybe it means biting your tongue or ignoring certain behaviour or being somewhere else when the time of day comes that they starts drinking. This week put it into action, react differently. Know the trigger and know yourself.