I haven’t written since August and it seems a world away. We went through areally tough time, he was suicidal. I spent several days and nights on suicide watch. The thing is when an alcoholic sobers up for a day or few hours they feel so guilty about everything they have said or done they get extremely low, they hate themselves and then they drink to deaden the pain they feel inside.
We went to the counsellor again at the Rehab centre he had been to 4 years previous. I had held it together until I walked through the door. i suppose I felt safe there, I felt ‘Thank God we are here now where people understand and I can share the burden’, so I broke down and couldn’t stop crying. Not big emmotional whailing or anything just quiet sobing! I know I felt like doing this for days so it was just a release in a place I felt I could do it without making him feel more guilty and low. Anyway they felt he needed to go in somewhere to detox safely and once he came to terms with what had to be done to hold us together as a family (ie. stop drinking again) we were refered to a psychiatric hospital. We went and he quickly sobered up with the reality of what was happening. After an hour of waiting the doctor on duty came out and said to him. ‘Do you feel you are a risk to yourself?’ He ofcourse said ‘no’ and she said they couldn’t take him because he didn’t have a mental health record and they were not a detox clinic – there isn’t one int he region! So I was on my own again! I said if given the medication I would control it and detox him at home and then go back to hte rehab centre and see what plan we could come up with. So that’s what we did. I took a few days off work and detoxed him at home. To do this, the aocoholilc has to be committed to giving up – they have to have reached rock bottom. Chicken soup/broth is good – easy on the stomach, warm and filling. The medication stops the drink cravings, helps sleep patterns. Once he was off the drink a week we went back to the rehab centre and he was placed in a recovery group. This is a one night a week meeting for 8 weeks. He didn’t really want to go at first but said he would just to stick to the programme. Next week is his final week. I have my lovely husband back again, it is hard to believe about 10 weeks ago he was a trembiling, suicidal drunken wreck. There is hope guys, the important thing is to stay strong give them support when they are genuinely trying but look after only yourself and your dependents when they are not. And in or out of sobriety, take one day at a time.