Courage to Change

My husband is back drinking for the past 3 weeks. So I need to heed some of my own ‘great’ advice on how to live with an alcoholic! It’s very easy to preach when they are sober about what to do in hindsight but the practical is always more difficult! I got my Al Anon book out last night called Courage to Change and dipped into it. If you don’t have a copy get one – it can offer words of advice in the darkest of hours. My husband gets severly depressed when he drinks – this time is worse than ever. Every day I am dealing with suicide threats. He took an overdose last week when I went to stay with family with the kids. He has a shotgun which doesn’t help – I hide it and then he kicks up a storm about me controlling him. So I read my book and talked to support and really I have to realise ‘I cannot change other people places or things’ and I have to stop trying to control situations. So I am no no longer hiding the shotgun, I am no longer pleading with him not to do it.  My barrier has gone up which isn’t a good thing but it is 8am and he is already staggering. He says it is up to him to give up drink and he is right,  there is no point in me searching the hide spots and throwing out drink, he is an adult and if he chooses to drink then that is his choice.

2 thoughts on “Courage to Change”

  1. You should keep writing – journaling helps. There are so many of us out there. We need to help each other. Even if it is just to witness the journies. I am having a bad day – I found your blog. I am sorry it has stopped. But today you helped a little. If only to remember we are not alone. Our story is different…but the same. I hold you in my heart.

    1. Hi Peg,

      thanks for your comment. It’s strange how things work – I started this blog a few years ago when my husband got sober to tell others that there is hope. I was a journalist for about 10 years of my life so I decided to write a self help book for partners of addicts. Then I stopped, because hubby was drinking socially again and ‘in control’ of it and I think I felt like a hypocrite! Then after about two years of his ‘controlled’ drinking everything went rapidly pear shaped again. I could see it building but things became worse than they had ever been. I agree with you, writing is a great source of therapy and sharing with people gives strength. So I began blogging again and I read back on my self help manuscript that I had left aside and started to follow my own advice. I believe things happen for a reason and maybe it was time for me to take my own medicine! I had forgotten how bad things could be, I had forgotten the day to day strain of living with an alcoholic. By taking small steps and some big actions I got my life back on track and my husband stopped drinking again. He has been off it now for about 5 months and we have never been happier or so much in love. This week is the week we met 18 years ago. I am now working hard on getting my book finished. Maybe you and some of the other followers of my blog could read some of it and give me back some constructive critisism?! See if it helps?

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